Guiding principles

At 19, I put a note in my wallet that read “If you’re working on harder problems today than you were last year, then you’ll be alright.” It was a rough estimate of something my uncle had said to me that day that I wanted to remember. The quote stuck at the top of my mind for years, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve picked up a few more pieces of knowledge. I reformulated them as questions and have come to think of them as my guiding principles.

I’ve never shared these before, but I brought them up with someone the other day, and they were really interested. I thought that it was worth writing them up.

My guiding principles

Am I working on harder problems than I was six months ago?

This one was the original principle I was given. This question aims to set you on a trajectory for consistent growth. Personally, I don’t feel great about being in a place where I am constantly stuck in monotony.

This question reminds me to find challenges in my day-to-day. If there are truly none to be found, then it motivates me to move on to greener pastures or build new ways to be challenged!

Recently, this has looked like learning piano, working to be a better dad to my son, or getting the ball rolling on tackling significant and systemic technical problems at work without being asked to do so.

Am I building things and skills that compound over time?

The most satisfying experiences I’ve had, both professionally and personally, aren’t just one-and-dones. They’re iterative, evolving, and often end up building momentum in my life somehow.

Investing in my relationships is probably my strongest example of this principle. My wedding was one of the greatest days of my life, but it’s just a point in time in the relationship with my wife; another fantastic point on that string is the birth of my son, all the way down to last week when my wife and I witnessed my son saying “Meow” (pronounced as “Boww”) for the first time.

Those relationships with my wife, son, family, and friends are living and compounding things. The more you invest in the people, things you build, and skills you develop, the better your outcomes. The obvious parallel here is any technical skill. The closer to the fundamentals in a domain the skill you’re building is, the more transferable and compounding it becomes.

Am I around people who push me to be better? If I can push them to be better, do I?

I’ve come to believe there is always room for improvement! I have found that when I spend time with people who are unmotivated to help others, improve the systems we collectively exist in, or help themselves in times of struggle, I get pulled into that apathetic direction myself.

In contrast, when I’ve spent time around people who hold me accountable and hold a higher standard for themselves, it pulls me up. If I surround myself with people who push me, I will become better.

In return, I think it’s only fair to hold the people around me to those same standards and help them whenever I can. So many people have done so much to help me throughout my life; it’s only fair that I pay that back through helping others if I can.

Am I excited to get out of bed in the morning? Are the sheets light?

I actually added this one to the list recently. I got it from my dad when talking about a big personal decision I’m in the process of making. I thought it was a really strong daily check-in. Even more so than the other questions in my list. Every morning when I get up, is it easy to do so? Am I excited for the day? If the answer is no for 4-5 days, that’s okay, but more than a month? more than a few months? It’s time to identify the problem and make some ruthless changes to make the sheets light again.

Guiding principles over long-term goals

As I’ve achieved big life goals, I’ve realized that while they can be a useful driving force, they oftentimes leave me feeling disappointed. When you’re in the thick of it, all you can think about is the finish line, then when you get there, you get this free-fall feeling of “oh, I did it… Now what?” Not ideal, and maybe not worth the years of toil and stress for a day or two of satisfaction.

Another issue with long-term goals is that they’re virtual and static targets in a world made of physical and shifting ones. I’ve made countless goals that make sense at the time but become meaningless in 3 months because of external factors, a change of opinion, or an opportunity falling through. Some long-term goals are good bets, but it’s really hard to land on them in practice.

In both of these ways, long-term goals have failed to bring me much beyond a rough sense of direction.

This is why I’ve been focusing on the principles above. They’re short-term, actionable, and oriented around happiness, satisfaction, and kindness to those around you. They focus on what you can do right now to build momentum by putting yourself in situations that make your day-to-day life great. If I end my day knowing my answer to each of these questions is yes, I know I’m heading in the right direction- and that I had a good day.

Part of the beauty here is that they’re also a living set of principles. They can change as my priorities change, and unlike changing a goal, that change is guilt-free.